


Counsellor Stella

by immortalje



Category: CSI: NY
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-14
Updated: 2006-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-28 21:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalje/pseuds/immortalje
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny's picking Stella as his new counsellor.</p><p>Warnings: implied past depression & eating disorder<br/>Pairing: one-sided Danny/Mac, future Danny/Don</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Counsellor Stella

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: Zoe
> 
> Any remaining mistakes are my own!
> 
> I originally posted this as 3 separate ficlets of a mini series on Livejournal. However, I do think that the chapter format here, works just as well :)

Counsellor Stella

Danny had just returned from his one week of leave. Instead of having fun and relaxing he had attended the funeral of a friend. Despite being only 32 she had died peacefully in her sleep. They had all known of the risk ever since she had survived a bullet in her head. There had always been a chance of a blood vessel being damaged or bursting or a clot that stopped the blood flow, causing all kind of problems, including death. In this case it had affected her unconscious body functions, mainly her heart. It had simply stopped beating while she was asleep.

While he was sad about her death he knew that she’d be happy. She had lost her daughter the day she had gotten shot and now they would be reunited.

It had all stood in the letter she had left him, updated every other week. She had also given him some advice. Well, it was more like she demanded he do it and he felt like complying with her wishes. She had always been looking out for him, ever since they met. And she had always disapproved of him staying in New York. She had predicted all the problems he had encountered so far. Her last request hadn’t been to move somewhere else though. She had accepted that he wanted to prove himself in the city he grew up in. No, her last request had been to tell someone he trusted. Tell them his full history.

That was why he was standing in front of Stella’s flat late at night. He had considered his best friend Don Flack, but they rarely talked about emotional matters. Aiden,… he didn’t really want to talk with her about something like his emotional state. No matter how great their friendship was. Mac, despite the huge crush he had on the other man, was a definite no. The other man had close to no trust in him.

That only left Stella. She also had the positive side effect of being female and a slight mother hen like his friend had been. He was confident that she would understand and make sure that he didn’t do anything stupid. Sighing, he knocked on the door, hoping that Stella was still up and didn’t have company. It didn’t take long for her to open the door, allowing Danny to hear the TV in the background.

“I hope I’m not disturbing anything. I just wanted to talk. I hope you don’t mind,” Danny explained his presence.

Stella smiled and said, “Don’t worry. I’ve been watching a repeat alone and considering heading to bed early as I’m bored to death.”

Danny smiled relieved and entered after Stella motioned him in. He pulled of his shoes and hung his jacket up, before following the Greek woman to the living room.

“So what’s on your mind? I hope your holiday managed to cheer you up,” Stella asked.

Danny grimaced and said, “It wasn’t really a holiday. A friend died and I attended her funeral. Whenever I had a problem or an issue I went to her. She studied psychology so she knew how to help me, aside from the fact that we knew each other since ’92. Her last wish was that I find someone else I trusted to take her position and I wondered…”

“You wondered whether I could do it. Danny, I’m glad you came to me. Now, why don’t you tell me about your friend and what kind of problems I’ll be faced with?” Stella asked.

Danny nodded, leaned back on the couch and said, “You know St. Helens? The hospital for the mentally ill? It’s not entirely for the worst cases. In July ’92 I was admitted for an eating disorder. I had some problems with my family and had lost all appetite therefore losing a lot of weight. The psychologist I had to talk to wrote it off as being caused by depressions. Considering that I was between having to join the Tanglewood boys because of family and not wanting to and not knowing what to do about it, you might call it depression. I’d say I was hopelessly trying to fight my set future at the time. Couldn’t tell that the psychologist of course. Once I had gained enough weight they concentrated on the reasons and for that they transferred me to the open ward where I met her.”

Stella nodded for Danny to continue. She hadn’t know – or even guessed – that he had ever battled depressions or an eating disorder.

“She was there for the third time and was finally making headway since her psychologist had realised that the real problem was her mother. Anyway, she had “introduced” a new system where the patients cure each other. She made them talk with each other, which makes it easier to find someone to talk to once you’re back outside. She also met her husband there. Anyway, she gave me the way out I had been looking for. Her father worked forensics and she was talking about him non-stop. I found that I liked what she described. The only point we argued about was me staying in New York. She actually predicted all the problems I faced, but she accepted that I wanted to prove myself here. She was shot back in ’98. Her daughter died that day in the same shooting. She… her death was caused by an after effect of the shooting. It helps to know that she’s reunited with her daughter,” Danny continued.

Stella smiled sadly and said, “I can imagine that. What about her parents?”

“She hasn’t seen her father since the day before she turned 14 because her mother had a restriction order issued. She missed him a lot. Her mother… they never got along and it was her mother who shot her. And all because she would have rather stayed with her father than her mother,” Danny explained.

Stella gasped and said, “That’s horrible.”

“I know, but it’s the reason why she had such a good understanding of the people around her and why she ended up studying psychology. She knows how it is to be down and she’s able to see a way out when no one else can. She taught me how to go my own way, how to leave my family behind and follow my heart. I always hated violence, ever since I realised how much hurt it causes. Well, as I already told you, I successfully battled my eating disorder and am nearly over the conflict of my youth, but living in New York doesn’t make it easy to completely get over it. Her philosophy was to make a clean break and a new start, which is why she didn’t want me to live here. She was afraid I’d end up so hurt that I’d do something stupid,” Danny said.

Stella smiled and said, “I can see you proving yourself. You do good, Danny. In my eyes there is no doubt.”

“I know. Mac is different though, ever since Sonny mentioned my name. Sonny never liked me for throwing a position away he had to fight for,” Danny said.

Stella pulled Danny in her arms, hugged him close and said, “I’ll make sure nobody can hurt you any more.”

The End


	2. Danny In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny's trying to get over Mac and ends up screwing up even more, or so he thinks.

Danny in Love

Now he knew that he stood no chance at all with Mac. How could he if Mac was as far away from trusting him as possible? ‘We’ll see’, he had said. He swore everybody at the lab had heard how his heart broke. He wished Stella didn’t have a date tonight, but he knew he could survive until the following day. Had to. He wouldn’t ruin her chance at normalcy only because he had a minor crisis. God, how could he have been able to believe he would ever have a chance?

He was lying on his couch, staring up at the ceiling. How could he work with Mac Taylor, knowing the other man didn’t trust him? He felt like crying. Six months ago, everything was fine. Then came Sonny Sassone and everything went downhill.

Suddenly, someone knocked on his door. Sorely tempted to pretend he wasn’t home, he sighed in defeat and stood up. Going over to the door, he opened it and looked at the waiting person in annoyance.

It was a grinning Don Flack, dressed for their usual basketball game. Remembering that today was their weekly game, he groaned.

“Sorry Flack, but I won’t be good company today. Just want to go to sleep and want to forget that today happened,” Danny said.

Don’s eyebrow rose and he said, “I didn’t know today was so bad.”

“Did my Psych Evaluation and talked with Mac about it. I asked him if we’re alright,” Danny started.

Don interrupted him and said, “Of course. You didn’t do anything wrong. Alright, you shot wild, but you’re not used to using your gun in the field.”

“Actually, no. He said ‘We’ll see’ and I could hear that he meant to say no. He doesn’t trust me, simple as that,” Danny disagreed. After a while he added, “Want a beer? I think I could use some company anyway. I just don’t feel like playing.”

“Sure, if you don’t mind. I also doubt that Mac doesn’t trust you. You wouldn’t be on the team otherwise,” Don explained while stepping in.

Danny snorted and said, “Yeah sure. Don, he can’t fire me. Otherwise he’d have to admit that everybody was right to warn him about me.”

“Who said that?” Don asked angrily while Danny returned with two beers from the kitchen.

Danny sat down on the couch and said, “Mac? Right after I shot the cop?”

“You didn’t kill him!” Don stated.

Danny only shrugged and said, “If you say so.”

Realising that Danny wouldn’t change his mind; Don refrained from arguing with the other man. “Want to watch a game?” Don asked to change the topic.

Danny shrugged and said, “Might as well. Nothing better to do.”

 

During the game, Danny didn’t pay much attention, favouring to drink one beer after the other in quick succession. Don watched it, worried about his friend. When he had enough of it, he turned the TV off and turned to Danny, who still had to notice any of it. 

“What happened today?” Don asked seriously.

Danny stared at the ceiling, taking a sip, before answering, “Mac doesn’t trust me.”

“Why is he so important?” Don asked curiously.

Danny never once moved and said, “He’s everything. I… God, I wish he could look at me and see how much I want him.”

Don didn’t know what to say. He had never expected Danny to be gay, had never expected that he might have a chance. He blissfully ignored that Danny had said he wanted Mac. 

“Shush, you still have me,” Don whispered, pulling Danny in to his arms.

He pressed a kiss to Danny’s neck, stroking his back in comfort. Don wasn’t sure how it happened, but suddenly Danny was kissing him. A voice in his head told him to stop, but he found that he couldn’t resist the temptation.

 

The next morning, Danny woke up in bed, alone, with a raging headache. Slowly the memories returned and he groaned at his own stupidity. No wonder Don had gone while he was still out. How could he scream Mac’s name when he was having sex with Don Flack? Now everything was even worse than the day before. He had just ruined the friendship with his best friend. Danny felt like crying, but fought hard to keep the tears in when someone rang at the door. He got up, put a pair of fresh boxers on and went to the door and opened it. He was relieved to notice an anxious Stella on the other side.

“What’s wrong? You sounded desperate on the phone,” Stella asked.

Danny sighed unhappily and said, “Yesterday it was all about Mac. I asked him if we’re alright and he said ‘We’ll see’. It’s…”

“You’re heartbroken. Danny, you’ll get over it,” Stella tried to reassure him.

Danny continued, “That’s not all. Don was over and we kind of ended up in bed. How could I use him like that?”

“Did you talk with him today?” Stella asked.

Danny shook his head and said, “He was gone when I woke up. I ruined a perfectly good friendship.”

“Hush Danny, You don’t know that. You should talk with him,” Stella said, already planning on how she could use this to her advantage. Meanwhile, she led him over to his couch and pulled him into her arms after sitting down.

 

When Danny had fallen back asleep, Stella crawled out from beneath him and went over to the kitchen. Once there, she pulled out her phone and called Don.

“Flack,” Don said when he picked up after the third ring.

Stella sighed and said, “It’s me Stella. This isn’t a case, but about Danny.”

“Tell him I’m sorry that I took advantage of him, will you?” Don interrupted her.

Stella smiled and said, “That’s not why I’m calling. He’s worried that he used you. Threw all worries about Mac overboard and is breaking down that he ruined your friendship.”

“He didn’t…,” Don started to say, clearly confused.

Stella interrupted him and said, “I know that, but he doesn’t. Talk with him. And if you’d like my advice: Danny needs someone and if you do it right you might just be able to keep him. Show him that you care about him, that he’s worth it. I can assure you that he’s given up on Mac.”

“You think…,” Don started to say.

Stella interrupted him again. “I think that you’re perfect for each other.”

“I’ll come over in an hour or so.” Don finally agreed.

Stella ended the call and made some breakfast for Danny. He’d need it after all the alcohol he had drank last night, and that was only assuming that he drank half of the beer that still stood on the table in the living room. Once he had eaten something she’d leave. There was no use in being around when Don and Danny talked, although she wouldn’t mind getting a show should they decide to get it on again.

Getting her mind back on track, Stella concentrated on making breakfast again.

 

An hour later, a fed and showered Danny was sitting in a relatively clean living room. Stella had left again and he had instantly returned to being miserable. Well, he was more miserable than when Stella had been there to share his being miserable with. His thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking on the door. Warily, he stood up and opened the door. When he saw Don, he opened his mouth to apologise, but was pushed back into his flat instead.

“Stella’s worried about you and called me. It’s funny how you thought you used me and me that I took advantage of you, don’t you think? She seems to think I’m good for you. Want to try?” Don asked.

Danny only got half of what Don said, but he understood that Don had only left because he felt guilty, not because he was disgusted at Danny using him.

When he heard the door close, he looked at Don. For a second nothing happened and then they were kissing again.

**The End**


	3. Mac Finds Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac realises some things...

Mac Finds Out

It didn’t take long for Mac to notice that Danny was pulling back. He needed less encouragement, didn’t try to get his approval and didn’t focus on him any more. To his surprise, Mac also noticed that he cared, that he had liked Danny’s dependence on him. He had liked to feel needed by the younger man.

He knew why it had hurt so much when Sassone had implicated Danny being involved with the Tanglewood boys at one point in time and when they had believed that he had shot that cop. He was so glad that that hadn’t been the case.

Now that the attention was missing, Mac realised that he cared more about Danny than he’d like to admit. He might even go so far as to say that he loved the younger man. There was only one thing he could do. Work on his behaviour when it came to Danny and gain his attention again.

***

Mac was at the end of his knowledge. No matter what he had tried, Danny still didn’t react to him. He had thought that things between them were alright. Was he wrong to assume that?

He was just heading to his car when he heard someone moaning. Deciding to check if someone was hurt, he followed the sound. When he turned a corner he saw Danny being pushed against the wall by none other than Don Flack, and they were kissing. Now he knew where the moans where coming from. Danny was moaning in obvious pleasure.

Not being able to continue to watch, Mac turned around without a second thought and ran straight into Stella.

“Just the man I was looking for. I wanted to talk to you about Danny,” Stella said.

Mac looked surprised at her and said, “What about Danny?”

“I want you to stay away from him,” Stella said.

Mac raised an eyebrow, clearly confused, and said, “Why?”

“He spent years trying to get your attention and your love until you actually broke his heart. I don’t know if you meant it like that or not, but when he asked you if you were alright and you said ‘We’ll see’ he took it as a no. Do you know what that did to him? Do you know how hard he worked to be where he is today? And you practically pushed it all aside, making it seem meaningless with one thoughtless answer,” Stella explained.

Mac was flustered now. “I thought he knew that…”

“He needed your approval and you refused to give it. How did you think he was supposed to take it? Besides, he finally found someone who cares about him and actually is able to show it. Don’t destroy that. He more than deserves it,” Stella said.

Mac looked at her and in that moment he understood what he had done wrong and that he couldn’t undo it. Just like he knew that it would be too easy to slip once he had Danny’s attention again. In that moment he vowed to never let things go this far again.

Stella saw the resignation on Mac’s face and knew that the older man understood what she was getting at. Out of the spur of the moment, Stella said, “Want to get dinner with me? I think there are few things we should talk about.”

“I think it’d be good to find out how much I actually screwed up and make sure that I don’t do it again,” Mac agreed.

**The End**


End file.
